I know a lot of sad people so it was only a matter of time until I came crashing down with them.
And now here I am. A sad-sack at the bottom of the Raggy Doll bin. Along with the backwards head girl, Mr Two Left Feet and Claude- the French guy. They sure did start us young with the racism. It’s weird though cause he’s not even black.
Go figure.
As I have passed over one psychology subject at a university level I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert on mental health issues. So today, with the house to myself and the leeks on simmer I decided to perform a little test to make sure I had a full understanding of my mental health situation and to ensure that I was not suffering from depression. It would surely make me feel better to rule that out as a possibility.
As it turns out I am experiencing many of the key indicators.
Go figure.
Are you experiencing a low or depressed mood?
Today I got home and changed straight into my pyjama pants. I put my socks and my shirt on the floor where I keep the dirty washing. There were a few other items there already. I then realised that I had washing on the line that wasn’t dry yet and already had things that were dirty and would therefore need washing. I got so upset that I lay on the floor thinking about how unfair life can be.
Are you experiencing increased levels of irritability?
Last night the freezer drawer got stuck. I screamed, “What the fuck is wrong with this fucking thing?!” And then sat on the floor eating ice cream.
Are you experiencing a loss of interest in things that used to give pleasure?
Sometimes I don’t even bother dancing to Single Ladies anymore.
Have you noticed a change in eating habits? E.g. Over or under.
No change. Continuing to eat around the clock.
Have you had a change in weight?
Duh.
Have you had a change in the way you move?
I used to run every day. Now I daydream about being able to reach the fridge from the lounge.
Have you had any thoughts about death?
This morning as I was walking to work I saw a scary looking man in the distance. I was desperately hoping that he would attack or kill me so I would have a good reason not to go to work. He walked past me and smiled. I lived through the whole ordeal.
Go figure.
I felt at this stage that I needed to do something to cheer myself up. I put a CD on. Bad Romance came on. I LOVE that song. It’s just so ludicrous! The happy gods were with me once again!
I was smiling away singing that gobble-de-gook!
“GA GA A HA HA! RA RA RA MA-MANCE! GA GA OH LA LA...”
Sigh.
Urgh.
Those lyrics were really a pain in the arse to type.
Go figure.
